The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee, finding Philip, He said to him, “Follow me. “
John 1:43
My journey started with a Catholic upbringing that included church on Sunday, the sacraments, and religious education. I’m grateful for the foundation it laid and the love and fear of God it instilled in me as a child. I’ve always loved Jesus, but I didn’t know Him. The Bible was an intimidating mystery I kept away from.
As years went by into my adulthood, I saw and heard things within the church that just didn’t seem right. Something was missing and I felt for a long time that I needed something else, something more.
My wife Jennifer felt the same and we began our journey searching for the truth. I read many books on Buddhism, went on a long weekend retreat to a monastery and “followed” a Zen master. I considered myself a Christian Buddhist. Looking back this was so reflective of my confusion. But, I never wanted to leave Christ. Still not fulfilled, I kept walking my path.
Next was a gradual transition into New Age spirituality. Again, I read many books, went on retreats and listened to lectures by famous people saying thinks like; “Nothing is more important than reconnecting with your bliss. Nothing is as rich. Nothing is more real.”
You can see how I was still confused. These teachings gave me comfort, but I knew something was still missing. I kept walking the path.
In retrospect you could say I was lost. But, I wasn’t really lost, because to be lost means that no one can know where you are. Jesus always knew where I was. And like the jealous, loving God He is, He was clearing the path to Himself.
Then God’s great gift to me, my wife Jennifer, who was also struggling on her own separate journey, tells me she wants to look into a Christian church. I was reluctant at first, but I knew she was unhappy with the Catholic Church as well and felt a similar void. By that time we had already stopped attending Sunday service regularly anyway. I think God helped me to realize what I needed by letting me see what Jennifer needed.
Upon moving to Florida, Jen found a Christian Church. I never had a lightening bolt moment of surrender or a “hit rock bottom ” story. I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of joy and relief one Sunday upon realizing that I finally found what I was in search of.
“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. ”
All along the journey my steps faced obstacles that kept me from the Word and Jesus. But, by God’s grace and mercy, my path was laid by Him, to Him. I knew of Jesus, but I didn’t know Jesus. Now I know Jesus and He knows me and He walks my path with me. The obstacles I face now bring me closer to Him.
I have found the way, the truth and the life in Jesus Christ.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, for Your steadfast love, unbounded mercy, and the precious gift of my salvation.
Amen.
- Philip A.