By Ashley Johnson
I’m going to show my hand here and admit that I don’t love worshipping at home via Live Stream. I am certainly thankful for the option when we cannot gather, but it’s just not the same. And with little children at home, it’s a challenge.
Each week, my soul craves what it needs most, but little hands pull on my clothes and little voices say my name over and over as if there were a fire in the home that needs immediate attention. I hate the tension between my flesh feeling frustrated by the interruptions, while the Spirit reminds me that my responses and actions toward my children teach them long-lasting and far-reaching lessons. It feels like a double-edged sword.
One Sunday, my husband was at the church during the stream so I was at home with the kids solo. I swore to myself that I was going to lean into the worship and not let the distractions bother me. There I was in the family room, standing and swaying with one toddler on my hip to keep her from crying while the second was saying “Mama? Mama? Mommy!” on my other side.
Being the godly mother that I am, I closed my eyes and started singing louder, trying my best to tune him out during the song. Tears streamed down my face as I recalled the familiar truths in the chorus.
“Mama… Mommy! Don’t cry!” My son was now yelling.
I snapped out of what I felt like was a holy moment and looked down at his big, hazel eyes begging to be seen.
“Don’t cry, Mama. I don’t want you to be sad,” he explained.
“Oh, buddy, I’m not sad. I’m crying because I know what we are singing is true … and I know it because God taught me so during the sad times in my life.”
That was the holy moment.
I’m not sure he completely understood, but I have been mulling over the concept for weeks. Isn’t it just like God to use what I felt was a nuisance to bless me with more of his perspective?
“This is my main point: The greatest comforts I’ve ever received have come through the greatest sufferings I’ve ever endured.”
We don’t feel the security of his rod and staff until we are threatened by harm. We don’t know the relief of his presence until we feel utterly alone. We can’t comprehend the greatness of his goodness until we recognize the depths of our badness. We don’t long to see his face until we find no comfort in this world.
Psalm 119 affirms this earthly suffering - godly wisdom exchange. It teaches us that our afflictions can lead us to understanding, and one beautiful ripple effect of godly wisdom is that it leads us to value God and his Word more than anything else … for in the law of his mouth we find true life.
“It is good for me that I was afflicted,
that I might learn your statutes.
The law of your mouth is better to me
than thousands of gold and silver pieces.
I will never forget your precepts,
for by them you have given me life.”
Psalm 119:71-72; 93, ESV
Hardship, trials, burdens, and pain can actually set us free. This logic doesn’t make sense apart from Christ. But once we put our trust in the Savior who suffered for our sake, we can begin to trust what the Bible says about the thoughts and ways of God.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
I’ve hung The Beatitudes on a wall in our home to remind me of these truths every day. Because every day I am met with opportunities to give myself over to the ways of my flesh or look to Christ to show me the way further into his Kingdom.
“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you, there is more of God and his rule.
You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
You’re blessed when you are content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.
You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.
You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.
You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of competing or fighting. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.
You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.”
Matthew 5:3-11, The Message
It’s comforting to me that the Lord teaches us how to live as children of God in the big, hard moments and also in the small happenings of everyday life, and it’s truly incredible that he knits it all together for his glory and purposes and for our good.